They say clouds have silver linings. I hope so. Yesterday and today were cloudy days for me. For the first time since Mom went to be with Jesus, I had free days. No appointments, no schedule, no pressing tasks to be done. It was the first time I let go. And Life felt cloudy. Fuzzy, unclear, disconnected.
Grief seems to be playing out in my heart in many ways. There’s the grumpiness, short temper way. And the anti-social, leave me be way. The productive, keep my mind off of it way. But today there was no excuse. And my heart stopped being in over gear. And my mind had no tasks to consume it. And my life allowed me to just stop, and be.
And how did I feel? Cloudy, stormy, avoiding life, rebelling in a way. I decided chocolate ice cream would help. Yes, I’m well aware that is emotional eating. But it did get me out of the house.
A storm passed through today. The clouds were very expressive. Dark grays, rain grayness, bright white behind the storm, and everything in between. And they caught my eye, the photographer eye. So I stopped, got out and captured a few images. I truly saw a silver lining, or a brightness directly behind the darkness. So even though I still feel a bit in the dark, hope is kindled and I think, maybe, possibly, there is a silver lining after all.