Silver Linings

Silver Linings

They say clouds have silver linings. I hope so. Yesterday and today were cloudy days for me. For the first time since Mom went to be with Jesus, I had free days. No appointments, no schedule, no pressing tasks to be done. It was the first time I let go. And Life felt cloudy. Fuzzy, unclear, disconnected.

Grief seems to be playing out in my heart in many ways. There’s the grumpiness, short temper way. And the anti-social, leave me be way. The productive, keep my mind off of it way. But today there was no excuse. And my heart stopped being in over gear. And my mind had no tasks to consume it. And my life allowed me to just stop, and be.

And how did I feel? Cloudy, stormy, avoiding life, rebelling in a way. I decided chocolate ice cream would help. Yes, I’m well aware that is emotional eating. But it did get me out of the house.

A storm passed through today. The clouds were very expressive. Dark grays, rain grayness, bright white behind the storm, and everything in between. And they caught my eye, the photographer eye. So I stopped, got out and captured a few images. I truly saw a silver lining, or a brightness directly behind the darkness. So even though I still feel a bit in the dark, hope is kindled and I think, maybe, possibly, there is a silver lining after all.

Look for the Silver Lining

Cloudy, stormy emotions need the hope of a silver lining.

 

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When You Can’t See the Path

Sitting at O’Hare waiting for replace to plane to arrive.

I was up at 5am to get to the airport. I’m going to see my parents and some of my siblings! It’s a short visit, but I need to see them. The plane was late departing. I fell into a deep sleep. Half way to the Michigan, the intercom woke me up with: we have to return to Chicago for maintenance. I thought maybe it was a dream. Everyone was so quiet and not talking, so I really didn’t know if the 18 minutes to landing was for Saginaw or Chicago! It wasn’t a dream. We landed back at the same airport we left. United has been good keeping us informed. Will we re-board, re-book or get a new plane? We’re getting a new plane but it has to fly here, so I’m sitting in the airport, thinking.

Coming back to Chicago we were above the clouds. They look much more interesting from above with lots of texture and complex formations. Then we began the descent down into the clouds.

Remember I’m not sure where we would land, so I had no idea of NESW or land/water. We were flying in a cloud, with no visual landmarks.

From the ground we just see gray skies, no sun, no blue. On the plane we trust the laws of gravity, but we don’t know our position in the air. We are putting our trust in the pilot, the navigation system and beacons and aviation control. They know where we are, how high, what the problem is, and then decide the best decision for passenger safety.

Sometimes in life we can’t see where we’re going. The path is foggy and we can barely see landmarks along the way. We wonder if we’ve gotten lost, taken the wrong path or even left the path. We can feel lost, without purpose or direction, wondering if we should just sit down and wait for someone to find us.

You likely know where I’m headed. God is our co-pilot. He knows the path and how to get to our destination. And if we’re lost, He is with us to prompt us or lead us back to the path. He has better radar; He is the ultimate “aviation controller” in our lives.

I’ve been in that place where I haven’t a clue where I’m going (emotionally, spiritually) and I just wanted to sit down, retreat from life, and wait for someone to care. This is a problem that God is excels in solving! He looks for the lost sheep and returns them to the fold. He cares for us and helps us get back on the path.

I am so thankful for this! I can trust Him to get me to the right place. Just like I had to trust the pilots knew where they were going, I have to trust that God is more than able to get me where He has planned for me to be.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭ESV‬